Welcome to this week’s rundown, breakdown, overview, or whatever your preference is for describing summarization on the two biggest cup-inspired tournaments happening right now. Now, pour yourself a cup of something hot, cold, or room temperature, because it’s time to kick it and talk about, what else, but Cups!
The 2023 Women’s World Cup, Mate.
- Dutch around and find out: For whatever fire had been lacking from the USWNT after a less-than-stellar first half left them down 1-0 at the half of Wednesday’s group stage match, let’s thank Dutch midfielder Daniëlle van de Donk for rekindling it in the second half. Her hard sideline tackle of her friend and Lyon teammate, U.S. co-captain Lindsey Horan, was the kindling needed for Horan to go full-on frienemy just two minutes later. Her smashing header would bring the squad even with a tough Netherlands side, and help the USWNT pull out a 1-1 draw. So, for future reference, if you have the upper hand on us, we would strongly advise that you do not piss off Lindsey Horan.
- But, oh snap: Though the second-half did see the USWNT dig in and prove themselves resilient against the Netherlands, the draw did end the squad’s 13-game win streak in World Cup group stage play. And, while it doesn’t mean the U.S. can’t flex their dominance in the tournament ahead, let’s hope it serves as a wake-up call moving forward.
- What does Vlatko like on his sub? Not much, apparently: USWNT gaffer Vlatko Andonovski opted to make only one sub during the match against the Netherlands, despite having five at his disposal. Though the one he did make before the second half proved effective, bringing in Rose Lavelle for Savannah DeMelo, the general aversion to subbing in reinforcements is striking many as questionable. The USWNT bench is loaded with in-form talent, and after a sloppy first half from the starting XI, it’s hard for American fans, and myself, not to channel our inner-Kenan Thompson to say, “What up with that, Vlatko?!”
- G’day for Nigeria. B’day for the Aussies.: In another match that would also leave their fans scratching their heads on the substitution-related matters, Australia fell to a tough Nigeria side that stormed back to pull off the shocker. With their star Sam Kerr sidelined with an injury and head man Tony Gustavsson choosing to hold off on substituting until the 82nd minute, the Matildas (which is a sweet nickname and sounds like the name of an all-female punk band) find themselves on the verge of home-team disaster. It makes next Monday’s matchup with Canada a must-win if they plan to get past the group stage.
- Knockout-apalooza, Part 1: It doesn’t need to be March to show your brackets intelligence. Since it’s the summer of soccer madness, why not head over to FIFA’s site to fill out a bracket and predict how you think the rest of the 2023 Women’s World Cup will play out. The Second Chance Bracket Challenge opens on August 3, so bookmark and fill yours out accordingly…heck, maybe you’ll even get some prizes out of it:
The 2023 Leagues Cup Runneth Over
- Chicago Fire provides unwanted primetime drama: Well, for about 80 minutes or so, Thursday night’s episode looked like it might bring us the happy ending every Loons fan wanted to see. But, even with Bongi playing the part of “Best Player On The Field,” the Kei Kamara cameo is something that, unfortunately, can change the story arc of any game’s storyline…and, well, we really didn’t care for the ending on this one.
- Still, the Best Performance In Cup-Related Role goes to…: Bongokuhle Freaking Hlongwane. Two games. Four goals. One assist. All the love and admiration of all Loons fans. Oh, and some good news for fans of the star, as this won’t be the last performance we see him in since…
- Call me Mr. Brightside, but…: In spite of the 3-2 loss to Chicago, based on aggregate points and goal differential, the Loons have officially qualified for the next round of Leagues Cup play! Maybe not everyone is down with my subdued, yet genuine attempt to look for the silver lining after this one, but I gotta gotta be down because I want it all. And, you can’t win it all if you’re no longer in the tourney so, yeah, I guess I’m Mr. Brightside.
- Messi Maketh Miami: Obviously, nobody saw it coming, but this Messi fella might have a future in this league. The young Argentine upstart followed up his 94th-minute game-winning free kick against Cruz Azul in his Miami debut with a brace and an assist in Miami’s 4-0 whoopin’ of Atlanta United in their second game of the group stage. The kid has some potential, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he continues to grow into someone that can be a decent contributor to the Miami outfit now that they have officially advanced to the knockout stage…but only time will tell…
- León’s Got No Love For LA.: On June 6, they took down the reigning MLS champs in a two-leg win to claim the CONCACAF Champions League trophy. Now, fresh off their record-breaking 16-15 shootout win over Vancouver Whitecaps days earlier, León has completed its sweep of LA’s professional soccer clubs for the year by doing away with the LA Galaxy with a 1-0 victory to secure the top spot in West Group 3 and advance onto the knockout stages. While Liga MX clubs have seen some rough results in this tournament so far, an LA sweep is nothing to sneeze at…and frankly, we applaud them in their sweepery.
- Qualified Professionals: Pending further review of their resumes, these clubs have the qualifications to move on to the next round of candidates in the Leagues Cup knockout stages: Your favorite waterfowl, Inter Messi CF, DC United, NYCFC, Philadelphia Union, Portland Trees, Club León, Club América, Columbus Crew, Mazatlán, and Prince and the New England Revolution. More to come on which other candidates are qualified to move onto the next round of interviews.
- Knockout-apalooza, Part 2: In similar fashion to the Women’s World Cup, the Leagues Cup is going to be nice enough to give fans a second chance to get their bracket right. And, if you like prizes (and why wouldn’t you?), you won’t be able to win anything unless you go to the Leagues Cup Bracket Challenge page on July 31 to fill out your Second Chance Bracket Challenge entry. It’s easy, it’s fun and it’s just the right kind of madness needed to stay locked in for the next few rounds of the tourney. Get it done, y’all.
